Honestly Hef, we really do expect better of you.
Certainly you are allowed some latitude, having been the founder of Playboy magazine and the man who helped usher in the sexual revolution.
You almost single-handedly made it seemingly all right for little girls to grow up aspiring to appear in their birthday suits with a well-placed staple covering their navels.
But honestly, despite your rank as the patriarch of porn must we be subjected to a highly publicized war of words with your 20-something ex who left you practically at the altar? Do we really need to know the details of your sexual prowess (or alleged lack thereof)?
Come on Hef, you are supposed to be so much cooler than that.